I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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