I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Found your dick twin last night
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
