She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
this boner is exhausting
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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