I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
