So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
