But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize