Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
