I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
