K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
