it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Randomize
