Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
