Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
