I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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