can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
