that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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