got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
