I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize