I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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