I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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