Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize