waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
