if i can run in heels then i can drive
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
