you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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