Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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