ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
