i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
