i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
