I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
