Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
