whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
