Duck Duck Cougar?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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