I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize