Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
