even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
