Small penises have feelings too.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
