before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
