How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
