I wish I could punch you in the face.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize