I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
