About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
