that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
