So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
