That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
