You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
