I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize