:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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