Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You made out with two different species that night
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
