She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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