i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
