a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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