dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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