you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
