If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
