Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize