his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
