therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
