then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
