I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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