I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
