Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
