Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize