I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
