would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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