Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
