Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I died a long time ago.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize