thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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