I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
