I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
