"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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