I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
