What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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