you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
