Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
