I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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