farters have to be the big spoon...
home. puking in laundry basket.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
