When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Panties = found
Randomize
