no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
