WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
